Some of the Things I will NOT miss from Afghanistan….

Dirty, cracked plastic cafeteria-style trays, plastic silverware and water bottles covered in dust and dirt. Standing in line at a dining facility, thinking of good food --- only to find out the published menu is not true, the food being served is actually leftovers from yesterday’s meal just re-named. Not recreated into another dish, just renamed. Wondering what “Peas Soup” is. Debating if this time is the next “bad” timing in a DFAC (Dining Facility). Reading a sign in horribly broken English, trying to figure out what the intended meaning is. I will not miss walking to a DFAC having to pass by the foulest smelling “green house” (aka latrine) then feverishly trying to convince myself the food I’m about to eat is good. Although they’ve begun installing Dyson Air Blade hand dryers on the DFAC’s, I still will not miss the cumbersome process of washing hands (while others spit, wash their sweaty faces, etc.) in the really gross sinks inside of each DFAC. I’m convinced a wash in those sinks adds germs to your hands!

Wearing anything camouflage or dirty, green socks, worn out combat boots, blousing my pant legs, wearing a most unattractive “hat,” carrying ammunition and an M9 --- all under a really dumb looking reflective belt (even though the current version I am modeling is pink!) Wondering just how much sand, dirt and dust is going to make it into my room without my permission. Carrying all my shower needs to the end of the hall – while wearing flip flops and dog tags, showering at the same time as two others in the stalls next to me. Living with strange people with really odd and downright nasty personal hygiene habits. Some do not use soap.

Working with three people in an 8x11.5 office in a two-story plywood building - for approximately 12 hours a day – some days more, some a little less. Rushing down a flight of stairs to retrieve confidential items off the printer. Being able to log onto a computer without having to find my ID card and entering a different password when accessing each of my three (3) hard drives. Waiting a couple of minutes for the internet connection to wake up and begin working. Clicking on any internet website (no bad thoughts here) and not seeing a blue screen telling me that my internet web page has been blocked because “my command” thinks it is off limits since it likely relates to gambling, social networking, or some unauthorized website when every time (for me) the filter is wrong and the site is legitimate.

Laying in bed and wondering when we are going to fire the next outgoing. Laying in bed wondering when the next incoming is headed our way. Taking a shower wondering if today’s the day I’m going to again be “caught” in the shower by ‘Rocket Man’! [Isn’t three times enough?] Wondering where the closest bunker is. Hearing an ambulance or fire truck and wondering if I know who got hurt. Hearing helicopters and aircraft flying so low over your building that you wonder if they know what they’re doing and if they’re headed toward their intended target. Having to stop a conversation mid-stream to allow the low flying aircraft to pass…twice. Walking to work, walking home and walking everywhere as the dust gets on you and in your scalp.

Hearing the rocket attack, mass casualty, ground attack and all clear sirens just because they’re testing them. We already know they work – heard them a few times since I’ve been here – thanks for reminding me! “Reveille Rockets” like we had the other morning….I certainly will not miss being woken up by the rocket attack siren. It’s indescribable to be woken up that way and I hope I never have to do it again. Unfortunately, that season is upon us.

The "green houses" not just walking by them, using them! Trying to use them in the dark...they aren't lit.
 Ever think about the steps required to use a green house, without touching anything, holding your breath, and holding your M9 so it doesn't fall in the hole??? I certainly won't miss that magic trick!

I can’t wait to get home…..