Adventure Begins Tomorrow....

Well another day has gone by and boy was today a rough one....just when I thought I was prepared, I realized I was not. Megan's Bridal Shower was very nice and I hope she enjoyed her day (I'll post pictures on facebook as soon as possible) however, the tears began toward the end when Aunt Jean got up and announced that I was leaving tomorrow and expressed just how much our family loves me and is proud of me. No tears could not be stopped. When I finally thought we all had it together (for Megan's sake---it was HER day not mine) I heard that Nanny (Jim's Grandmother) wanted to speak with me. She looked me straight in the eyes as she began telling me the St. Christopher charm necklace that she was wearing had not been taken off in years. She credits the charm for keeping her safe through a house bombing in Europe, moving to the states, her husband (Jim's grandfather - Poppa) dying while they were on a cruise ship and that it was now going to stay with me to keep me safe. I thought I was strong...Nanny taught me that I am not. I hadn't seen Nanny that clear minded in years...nor had the rest of the family at the shower. Seeing Nanny with her hands on my face telling me about how St. Christopher kept her safe and was going to begin keeping me safe, Kendall and Taylor (and the rest of us) began crying. In fact, there might not have been a dry eye at the shower. Not at all what I wanted or expected (for Megan's sake), so I began pulling myself together for Megan and for my girls. I said my Good Byes to the rest of the family and we drove Nanny home. I decided to take the girls for some last minute Mommy-Daughter bonding time: Manicures and Pedicures for the three of us. The girls loved their first pedicures (real ones although I claim to give them pedicures when I trim their nails in the bath--now they know what a real one is like).  When we got home....we were greeted by our friends. They didn't feel like they got to really say good bye and honestly, it was nice to spend some time with them. Tonight I learned I just don't have it in me to say Good-Bye. So, if I've left you saying "See you Later" that's my personal code for Good Bye (for now). When our friends left, Taylor began a tantrum like never before. Trying desperately to figure it out how to resolve her issues, I quickly learned it wasn't a tantrum: she was lashing out at me for leaving her. Through tears, I gave her a BIG hug and she responded by saying "Mommy I'm going to feel like I'm really missing a good Mom and its' going to be for longer than I count." You guessed it, the uncontrollable tears began again. I had no response other than looking her straight in the eyes through my tears and telling her exactly how much I loved her and that I would do everything in my power to call her and talk to her as much as possible. She stopped crying once she was hugged me and I told her I loved her. We cuddled and she calmed down. I told her how very important it was for her to be a good girl and to help Dad because he'd need help while I was gone. Together, we cleaned up her bedroom which got torn apart during her tantrum. Not knowing what else to say or do, I reminded her that I would also be very sad without being able to hug her every day but assured her that I'd make up all the hugs we missed. Surprisingly, she stopped crying and asked if I needed her to help me finish packing. Rather than focusing on me, I asked her if she wanted to make a craft to help her count how long I'd be gone. We made an old-fashioned construction paper chain link garland using red, white and blue paper.  52 links: one for each week I'll be gone. All the while, Kendall was a trooper and keeping to herself. Kendall learned long ago that the best action during a "Taylor Tantrum" was to stay quiet and out of the way. Wise girl!!! Both girls are sleeping soundly now. I have my boarding passes and my seabag is not packed. I have a busy morning ahead of me.....