A Memorable Day!

I knew August 15th was going to be a memorable day. It turned out to be more memorable than I imagined and, in fact, I experienced a lot of truly unexpected emotions. This was going to be a big running day for me because I knew I was going to reach my next running goal. I knew I was going to be 1.6 miles short of my goal after running the 5K therefore I needed to get up and get a quick run in before the 5K. You must know that for me to write that I “needed to get up and get a quick run in before the 5K” is totally shocking.


The night before, I began mentally preparing for the next day by writing out many of my thoughts and emotions. In the end, my emotions got the best of me and it was an incredibly long night, one which was far more emotional than I had expected. I decided that taking a shower may help me regain my composure. It was a great idea, although unsuccessful. Afterward, as I wrote some of my deepest thoughts and feelings, I realized I was crying more than I have ever cried since arriving here. I nearly cried myself to sleep with a box of Kleenex in hand. In the end, I didn’t get much sleep – less than my usual few hours. I honestly can’t recall a time when I felt like this and wrote about my true emotions. I generally don’t have or want to write about my emotions because I’ve just never felt the need to write them on paper. I felt very good when writing, especially since I didn’t really have anyone available to talk and share my feelings with tonight. Emotionally, this is an extremely difficult place to be because you really have no opportunity to share your true emotions and feelings with anyone. As much as I’ve wanted to talk and share my feelings, it’s simply not that easy.

When my alarm went off the next morning– I felt as though I was waking up to a nightmare. I resisted the desire to go back to bed and began my routine….getting ready for my morning run. I went outside and waited for my running partner. I’ve learned that the “runners agreement” is that if you’re not ready within a few minutes of the pre-designated meeting time, that’s a sign that the other is not going to run. I waited 10 minutes as I stretched and began my run by myself. I ran my planned route and finished a while before the 5K was due to start. As I waited for the 5K to start, I saw Chris, my running partner, who had overslept on his last day in Afghanistan. Although I would have enjoyed one last run with him, he needed and deserved to sleep in. Chris reached his incredible running goal of 850 miles during his 6 month deployment here and this was the last day he and the rest of his command would be here. You could see the excitement and anticipation on their faces….they’ve all endured 6 months away from family and home and they were all ready to leave. I learned a valuable lesson today. I learned how to truly put others and their feelings first. I was truly very happy for them, even though I, myself, was not happy. I saw the stress (and anticipation) of their last few weeks getting to all of them…….I felt nervous and a little lonely when I thought of them leaving and returning to their families. This is life in the military.

After the race, some of us sat down and chatted over iced cappuccinos. We enjoyed some great conversation and it was a nice good bye, without being a good bye. My only regret is that more of those leaving were not with us to enjoy that time together. We all parted ways and I continued with my work day. I was fortunate enough to enjoy lunch with the “Three Kings” as they have jokingly been referred: the three Master Chief’s of 22NCR - Joe Perrone, Chris Redding, and Ed Perry. I’ve spent some time with Joe, Chris, and Ed because being an Individual Augmentee means that I joined a command of other (Army) individuals and the few other Sailors are either junior enlisted or Officers. Since I am not in Joe, Chris, and Ed’s command, it was a nice relief to chat with them and enjoy their company, when possible. For them, since I wasn’t in their command, they didn’t have to worry about a perception of favoritism. We had a very nice lunch as we all shared a few laughs. These are truly three of the nicest folks. They were kind and helpful to me. Since this is my first deployment and they are “seasoned veteran’s” their perspectives and advice were invaluable. I am most thankful I had the chance to meet all three of them. I n addition to their guidance, they were each truly caring when it came to be being by myself on base. In fact, Joe was the most worried and sometimes I think he ran with me out of fear that I’d run by myself. That’s ok because I think he was able to reach one of his running goals: to run 5 miles. I’m not sure why he said this was his goal because he had already run a 10K with me (10K=more than 5 miles, Joe!). Joe was very thoughtful when it came to races, he ran by me on at least two of them. Chris enjoyed the races so much that he’d run from those in the front to the back to motivate those near the end.

At the end of the work day, I went and got iced cappuccinos as my “parting gift” for Wyn, Kris and Chris. The line was outrageous but I knew I had to wait. In fact, the wait was so long that they had already been past security so I couldn’t say good bye to everyone. I saw two Chief Selects and asked if they would give the drinks to them. I wrote their rates and a smiley face on the top of each cup with my Sharpie. That was my good bye. Clearly not what I wanted but likely the best scenario because I’m sure I would have cried and given my emotions from the night before, was afraid I would be the same or worse. The unfortunate part is that I feel as though I left with some things left unsaid. I’m not really sure I have anything specific to say, but I feel as though I let them down and my tardiness showed a lack of care or concern. That’s not the case at all and I hope they all know that. They are almost home now….they’ll be home in a couple of days and I’m sure they can’t wait to reunite with their families. The reunions are the best part of the Navy, even though they can’t erase the emotional good byes……